You treated me so badly and pushed me away it was your fault…and I know that, but why is it that you still effect me so much ? why can’t I just forget everything and stop worrying about you? I have him now and he’s everything i could ever want and deserve. You could never compare to him, yet I’m sitting here thinking where you are and if you still think about me. I hear things about you..and I’m sure you hear about me. I don’t know if your locked up again or if your parents really sent you off to that camp thing in Nevada…that’s what I’ve been hearing. I know it seems like I’ve completely forgotten you and that was my goal……to show you I’m fine without you and I am. I didn’t plan on ever saying anything to anyone because talking about it makes me remember and all I want to do is forget, but its hard to just throw away 2 years like it meant nothing…..like you meant nothing..because in that time u meant everything. I just need to let go and I’m trying and having him makes it easier…he takes the pain away but he can never remove the scares you left me with…the memories you engraved into my mind and heart…and that’s what sucks the most because I still see you in my dreams. I contemplate stopping by your house every time I pass by to just see if your there and to see if the things i hear are true but i know i cant its like running but going nowhere. I’ll be okay…I just need to learn to stop thinking…to stop caring…and eventually it will get easier. It will all become just a distant blur one day…one day….
Everyday it hurts a little more..